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Losing Sleep

by Secret Keeper

/
1.
Left Alone 04:10
You chew me up And spit me out I've always cared It's myself I don't give a fuck about I told myself this would never be me But in the mirror, it's all that I see I grew up in your arms And it's hard to forget I wasn't loved from the start Tell me what it means to be alive Tell me what it means to live So I can tell you You're full of shit Aren't you so fucking sick? I never gave a fuck about myself
2.
One step forward Two steps back I'm losing footing I'm losing tact On unstable ground At least I've claimed my plot Before they lay me back down Everything is changing while I stay the same And it feels like I'm waking up to the same day It's the same old story, the same old place, same old room where I spent most of my days As a kid, things seemed so much brighter back then And I never had to fake a smile And the hardest thing I had to do was ask my mom if I could just stay out a little while longer I'd dream of leaving when all I ever wanted was right here But the good things, they pass you by And you're never there when they die I've learned the hardest part of growing up is burying the ones you love So alone I can feel it in every inch of my body, in every bone It's eating me alive from the inside An emptiness, I'll always know So alone I can feel it every inch of my bones It's eating me alive from the inside Now I'm sinking down again like I do every day And god if you're there, please answer me But you're not there and I know it So why do I keep talking to the sky when I'm alone here?
3.
The truth is I hate my own guts so you won't have to So much so, that I can't recognize love or the lack of it I've packed this suitcase a thousand times Said aloud "I'll never look back" But end up sitting on my bed just staring at it I've cried alone more times than I'd like to admit But I've been too proud to tell you I'm losing it Anxiety ridden guilt stricken The weights of things It's sinking in It's like an awful movie I've seen a hundred times and I know the end And everything falls apart But I'm collecting the pieces I found a little bit of hope shoved between the seats In the back of the van And I'm content with knowing exactly where I am I've seen hell It's a worn out reclining chair And I've dreamt of heaven It's anywhere but here
4.
Losing Sleep 03:48
Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing Except every time I wore my heart on my sleeve just to have it taken from me And every time that smoke hit my lungs just to feel at ease Just like you live for Him, I live for this Dissect each word but it's the point you always missed Everything is easier said than done But these notes can't be written just to stay unsung You rip me apart But you were lost from the start Looking towards the sky to find the throne But I've found a kingdom in my life A heaven to call my own Looking back, I'd leave everything Set up shop on the corner of every street Sell all my hopes and dreams to every stranger I meet But when will you ever acknowledge me? As a kid storms made me feel safe On rainy days I knew the clouds overhead Felt the same as me But these days I'm losing sleep over nothing The sky blankets the light and it only seems to bring me down When it rains, it pours and I'm not sure If I can keep my head above water anymore
5.
You drink to take the pain away I write these words to feel the same Believe me, I haven't moved passed And you'll always have a piece And I'll continue to live but always incomplete You left me with a sigh of relief But ever since I've hated to be me I think of you most of the time and what our lives could have been like You're the reason why I can't fall asleep at night You're the reason why I'm watching every sunrise You're the reason why I grew up too fast And you're the reason why I can't get past this I heard that you died The joyful spirit I once knew is no longer inside of you They keep telling me I'll be fine but I don't feel alright I know I always smelled like smoke But you were the one who made me choke On all my words And no matter what your friends say Love isn't supposed to feel this way It isn't supposed to hurt

credits

released January 3, 2015

Recorded at Glow In The Dark Studios
Produced, Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered by Matt McClellan

All songs written and performed by Secret Keeper © 2015

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07/28/23

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