Get all 20 Secret Keeper releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Dear love, I let you go., Snow In Tokyo, EP Compilation (2023 Edition), We'll Fail Together, Luxury Funerals (feat. Kyle Medina), No More Flowers (feat. Kelsey Grey), Crushed, Cemetery Feelings, and 12 more.
1. |
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2. |
The Depths
03:27
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In a sea of make believe lies the shore of misery
Where we watch the ocean surge and laid waste to my dreams
The vast waters and the ocean mist sends my body gently adrift
As I look into the sea I can feel the ocean breeze
Cleanse me and cast me out to sea
And watch me sink baneath the deep
Sleep soundly in an oasis
Dream of all the places this heart-s been yerning for
And let it sweep you upon the shore
Deep desolate abyss just let me reminisce
Taken by the ocean's tide; memories left to confide
In the depths they will lay for the rest of their days
As I look into the sea I can feel the ocean breeze
Cleanse me and cast me out to sea
and watch me sink baneath the deep
Sleep soundly in an oasis
Dream of all the places this heart-s been yerning for
and let it sweep you upon the shore
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3. |
Father's Day
02:40
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Like a child coping with loss
I can't wrap my mind around how much time I've lost
I've never felt so alone
And I don't think this pain will ever leave
Willing to bleed for those who wouldn't lift a finger for me
Staring at the boxes your things were packed in
Remembering how things were back then
Holding your hands in that hospital bed
Hearing the trumpets as you became a memory in my head
This won't be the end of me, it will be the beginning, you see
You be the paper and I'll be the pen
Maybe on these lines we'll be together again
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4. |
Miles Apart
03:12
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How did this happen that years would turn to days
Who would have guessed that miles would disappear
But things aren't changing cause I'm still here
Lying awake these thoughts won't forsake
Hands shaking, head aching: my thoughts are miles apart
Why do friends come and go despite this stagnant state?
My mind swarms with thoughts from the past:
A dream to life and it happened so fast
Lying awake these thoughts won't forsake
Hands shaking, head aching: my thoughts are miles apart
You see these past six years I've lost many things
But through it all one thing remained true
So I'll keep my faith, I won't fall to hollow trends
And see if this so called fate ever ends
I swear I won't let go of this feeling in my chest
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5. |
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6. |
Left Alone
04:10
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You chew me up
And spit me out
I've always cared
It's myself I don't give a fuck about
I told myself this would never be me
But in the mirror, it's all that I see
I grew up in your arms
And it's hard to forget I wasn't loved from the start
Tell me what it means to be alive
Tell me what it means to live
So I can tell you
You're full of shit
Aren't you so fucking sick?
I never gave a fuck about myself
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7. |
The Glass Half Empty
02:52
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One step forward
Two steps back
I'm losing footing I'm losing tact
On unstable ground
At least I've claimed my plot
Before they lay me back down
Everything is changing while I stay the same
And it feels like I'm waking up to the same day
It's the same old story, the same old place, same old room where I spent most of my days
As a kid, things seemed so much brighter back then
And I never had to fake a smile
And the hardest thing I had to do was ask my mom if I could just stay out a little while longer
I'd dream of leaving when all I ever wanted was right here
But the good things, they pass you by
And you're never there when they die
I've learned the hardest part of growing up is burying the ones you love
So alone I can feel it in every inch of my body, in every bone
It's eating me alive from the inside
An emptiness, I'll always know
So alone I can feel it every inch of my bones
It's eating me alive from the inside
Now I'm sinking down again like I do every day
And god if you're there, please answer me
But you're not there and I know it
So why do I keep talking to the sky when I'm alone here?
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8. |
Everything Falls Apart
04:02
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The truth is I hate my own guts so you won't have to
So much so, that I can't recognize love or the lack of it
I've packed this suitcase a thousand times
Said aloud "I'll never look back"
But end up sitting on my bed just staring at it
I've cried alone more times than I'd like to admit
But I've been too proud to tell you
I'm losing it
Anxiety ridden guilt stricken
The weights of things
It's sinking in
It's like an awful movie I've seen a hundred times and I know the end
And everything falls apart
But I'm collecting the pieces
I found a little bit of hope shoved between the seats In the back of the van
And I'm content with knowing exactly where I am
I've seen hell It's a worn out reclining chair
And I've dreamt of heaven
It's anywhere but here
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9. |
Losing Sleep
03:48
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Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing
Except every time I wore my heart on my sleeve just to have it taken from me
And every time that smoke hit my lungs just to feel at ease
Just like you live for Him, I live for this
Dissect each word but it's the point you always missed
Everything is easier said than done
But these notes can't be written just to stay unsung
You rip me apart
But you were lost from the start
Looking towards the sky to find the throne
But I've found a kingdom in my life
A heaven to call my own
Looking back, I'd leave everything
Set up shop on the corner of every street
Sell all my hopes and dreams to every stranger I meet
But when will you ever acknowledge me?
As a kid storms made me feel safe
On rainy days I knew the clouds overhead
Felt the same as me
But these days I'm losing sleep over nothing
The sky blankets the light and it only seems to bring me down
When it rains, it pours and I'm not sure If I can keep my head above water anymore
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10. |
I Heard That You Died
03:01
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You drink to take the pain away
I write these words to feel the same
Believe me, I haven't moved passed
And you'll always have a piece
And I'll continue to live but always incomplete
You left me with a sigh of relief
But ever since I've hated to be me
I think of you most of the time and what our lives could have been
like
You're the reason why I can't fall asleep at night
You're the reason why I'm watching every sunrise
You're the reason why I grew up too fast
And you're the reason why I can't get past this
I heard that you died
The joyful spirit I once knew is no longer inside of you
They keep telling me I'll be fine but I don't feel alright
I know I always smelled like smoke
But you were the one who made me choke
On all my words
And no matter what your friends say
Love isn't supposed to feel this way
It isn't supposed to hurt
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11. |
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12. |
Dwell
03:10
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I've carried you inside my mind
For my entire life
Head in my hands
Weighed down
Any lower and I'd be in the ground
I'm wasting breath
And I'm wasting space
Doubled over from the pain
I'd give anything not to feel this way
Nobody gives a shit
Unless you feel like them
And I'm starting to think
That you never cared
I feel gutted So much for friendship
But that's how it always is
You'll leave
And I'll dwell on it
I still reside in this broken home
I can cover up the cracks in the walls
But there's no fixing the nights
I have spent alone
I've carried you inside my mind
For my entire life
Head in my hands
Weighed down
Any lower and I'd be in the ground
Misery loves company
And I'm here to stay
I can never say what I mean
Cause my anxiety is a conscious being
It's got me by the throat
Strangling
It's fucking suffocating
I know we all die alone
But I didn't know that living would be this cold
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13. |
Haunt
04:26
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You still haunt me like you used to
You're the weight on my shoulders
But it's different than before
Cause I've gotten older
I watched your shadow roam around the room all night
Dimly lit by the cloud covered moonlight
I prayed in silence that I might get some sleep
Cause the bags under my eyes
Expressed the words I couldn't speak
I saw your ghost out of the corner of my eye
Darting past the window frame
And I still have that feeling in the corner of my mind
Maybe I fucked up and kept the words I should've said
You still haunt me like you used to
You're the weight on my shoulders
But it's different than before
Cause I've gotten older
You still haunt me like you used to
And it's the same now
Hold me under
Inhale water
Watch me drown
So I'll stay inside
And waste every day away
The sun was never meant for me
Maybe now I'll finally get some sleep
And rest my tired eyes to the sound of exploding arteries
For as long as I can remember
We've kept our fingers perfectly entwined
Your apparition hand in mine It was cold
But at least it was constant
When nothing else in my life was
I've watched all the color fade away
And the knots in my stomach take their place
I wish I could speak up
But with you there's only silence
I'm so afraid of the silence
Why can't I hear anything?
Why can't I feel anything?
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14. |
Dwell/Haunt - Commentary
00:23
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15. |
Gravestones
03:43
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Everything I love turns to gravestones
Just know that I miss you
It's so cold, all alone
Everything I love turns to gravestones
I miss you
And itās so cold all alone
Everything I say
Falls short anyway
I'll bite my tongue
And close my mouth
I won't cry
Till the blood comes out
I feel locked out
From the inside
With no room to breathe
And I'm out of time
This home I've built
Is no shelter now
A vacant soul
Tear me down
I can feel it again
There's something wrong in my head
I won't go back to where I've been
Cause the Florida heat
Still burns my fucking skin
Cause I'm just a selfish prick
I deserve this
I'm the kid who's always sick
Still sucking down cigarettes
I made you a promise
That I couldn't keep
Cause I had to work on fixing me
Maybe next year Iāll be better
Maybe next year I'll quit
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16. |
Ghost
04:58
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Like the largest ships at sea
We twist and turn
Buckling under treacherous weather
Leaking
And I'm not sure if this vessel can take much more
But we'll stay afloat like we always have
Somehow
And we rushed down below the main deck
Seeking some kind of safety
It was pitch black
But I found comfort in your breathing
Wrapped in darkness till morning
And If we hold each other tight
You can cry in my arms
And I'll run my fingers through every strand of your hair
I can't promise things will be alright
But we'll be together
We'll be together
And we'll write down our feelings
And fold up these parts of our lives into neat little squares
Cherish the words written on each line of both papers
Hold them close to revisit
When things are better
I still have that recurring dream
Where we drown in our sleep
Always awoken to the feeling of your limbs wrapped around me
Like ropes binding my hands and feet
And I'd stay up all night
My eyes trace your outline
And waited for the waves to take my life
I waited for the waves to take my life
Like a beautiful mirage you were gone like a ghost that haunts
A ghost that lingers close by to watch everything unfold
Shipwrecked but not broken
Not lost, but never to be found
The light peaked through the clouds
Where my head resides most days
And I watched you walk along the edge of the rocks
Swaying back and forth
The light bouncing off the tree tops
Silhouetting your figure
And just like that
Like a beautiful mirage you were gone like a ghost that haunts
A ghost that lingers close by to watch everything unfold
In silence
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17. |
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18. |
What A Shame
04:20
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I watched the shadows dance around the room
And outside of the door
Everything I used to feel
I feel it like before
You never cared because you just donāt relate
Iām stuck in my own head
A cliched broken, fragile state
You just donāt
Donāt relate
You said āThings changeā and āNothing stays the sameā
Oh, what a shame
You blame everyone but you
I think itās better if I sit here in the dark
Blinded by the light
And all alone in the heart
Everything I used to see
I see it clearer than before
You took away my soul
And begged for more
You said āThings changeā and āNothing stays the sameā
Oh, what a shame
You blame everyone but you
You were meant to dream
Not take mine away from me
Are you even losing sleep?
Losing me
You said āThings changeā and āNothing stays the sameā
Oh, what a shame
You blame everyone but you
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19. |
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20. |
Hypnosis
03:06
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Iļøm counting down the days until Iļø get to see your face again
If heaven exists
Please put me to sleep with your hypnosis
Because everyday that Iļøm awake
Iļø feel the clouds above my head
Iļøm welcoming death
What do you make of all this?
Am Iļø still haunted?
And what do you know that Iļø donāt?
Why donāt Iļø feel whole?
Wipe the dirt from my fingertips
And the sweat from my brow
Iļø can feel the cold creeping in
As they lower my body down
Wrapped in sheets
Separated flesh from bone
Father Iļøām coming home
What do you make of all this?
Am Iļø still haunted?
And what do you know that Iļø donāt?
Why donāt Iļø feel whole?
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21. |
[Hidden] - Commentary
00:32
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22. |
[Hidden]
03:28
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